singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
