He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
