Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
