he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
