If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
