This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
