Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

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(417): View more from Missouri

apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face

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(310): View more from California

I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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(330): View more from Ohio

You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.

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(310): View more from California

how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...

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(813): View more from Florida

Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.

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(516): View more from New York

I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.

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