Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
