why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
