you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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