Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
