This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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