yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Dicks are not precious.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
