R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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