alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
