you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
