Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Randomize
