Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
