No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
