he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
