I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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