I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize