The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
