is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
