I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
