I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
