I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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