it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
