I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
