Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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