JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He passed out mid-signature
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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