In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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