there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
