you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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