Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
