Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
