SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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