two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Randomize
