i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Soap is not a condiment
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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