i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
