goodnight i made you a song goodbye
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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