anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Randomize
