Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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