I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
my shit smells like andre
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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