dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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