just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
