how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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