Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize