idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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