I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think I have vodka in my lungs
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Randomize
