I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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