Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Randomize