am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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