Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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