happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
