Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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