i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
