You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
