so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
foreskin is a definite game changer
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
