so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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